Going nuts

Ya know, today is my youngest son's birthday and since last night it has been nothing but torment.  He is too young to really care about anything but his cake a present so that sums up his day in a nutshell.  My issue is with my pathetic excuse for a husband.  Last night i realized my husband doesn't really think he has to be responsible for the growth of my son.   all boys look to the closest man in their life to role themselves after.  well , my husband took on responsibility for my oldest boy since before he was born. (or so i thought)  for 10 years i have watched my son grow up to be more like me than anyone.  he is lost on who he should be and it tears me up.  now is his identity defining phase and he doesn't have a clue.  there is no man to show him.  I tried to talk to my husband about it last night when he got home and finally the truth came out.  "It's not my fault his dad doesn't show him any attention or want anything to do with him"  WTF??????  i told him that's his job.  go figure.  he's the only dad he knows and it kills me.  i spent the night crying because it's my fault.  i married this man with the intent of him being a good dad but little did i know he was just like his mom.  only blood is family.   son of a bitch.  well just venting but one of these days this man will get his cummupans.