I think I’m going to start using my blog as a kind of self-help site for all kinds of things. Today I’m going to write about a topic that is more common than most people realize or care to discuss: mental illness. This topic for me is very close to home and for most people it’s a touchy subject. Not everything you go through mood or behavior wise is a disorder but so many people like to take the easy way and say it is or it isn’t. 3 of my 4 children have a form or another of a mental disorder. Not a personality disorder which can be commonly misunderstood, but a mental disorder which involves chemicals in the brain not working the way they should, or over-abundantly in some cases.
I have a daughter who is 12. She is going into the 7th grade and since I can remember she has always had a focus issue. Attention Deficit Disorder, and yes, there is a difference in ADD and adding the H for hyperactivity. most people so commonly assume just because your child doesn’t pay attention to you means they must have a attention problem. NOT TRUE. My daughter has selective attention. Ha-ha, the kind where she never pays attention to us. But in her case she also cannot pay attention in class nor even watching tv or reading a book. She has to have medicine to keep her focus on anything that may interest her. Even her conversations are scattered and her writing is atrocious. When she takes the right kind of medicine she is a totally different child. She can read her books for hours on end (which is a fave past time of hers by the way) and yes, even the computer and tv are no problem. (although sharing the computer with her brothers is)
The problem with saying it’s just a kid thing is that often times that isn’t the case. Most parents even go so far as to discipline when their child wants to talk all over the place or do 5 million things in an hour. Some children (even adults) can’t stop themselves. My daughter has to take medicine just to calm the activity in her brain down long enough enough for her tired body to shut down for sleep. The electirical impulses are on the go 24/7 in her head. It’s not the hyper fall out of the chair run around the area kind of disorder; she just can’t pay attention or look straight ahead for more than a minute or two. Always busy. Yet her medicine helps a lot.
When she was 5 she developed trichotillomania. (a hair pulling disorder) once she developed it, it was always gonna stay. Now she has to take a medicine to control the impulses to pluck out face hair or hair from any other part of her body. This disorder is a form of compulsion. The problem we have though is when you solve the problem for one compulsion, they develop something in it’s place. So if she’s not plucking to save hair, she’s shredding paper. Kind of a nervous disorder with anxiety.
So please, if your child by the time they are 3 or 4 year old, can’t watch tv for more than 5 minutes (and I don’t mean the news, I mean their fave show) or they can’t focus on a toy long, don’t discipline them, be patient. (yea I know for a fact it’s frustrating, my boys have the hyperactive part too) by the time they ar ein school a teacher will be able to tell you if it will be a problem. Not all kids have a problem with it but they do work better on a constant routine. Throwing a child with ADD much less ADHD out of a daily routine is cause for chaos. I will discuss more when I get to my oldest son later. Like I stated earlier, I am going to start writing things to hopefully help others. Please feel free to ask questions or give advice, I’m all for either. Let’s help each other help our kids and ourselves.
Oh yes and a final note: if you tell your child, who has focus troubles, to clean their room (or anything for that matter) never give them instructions that are too broad. Tell them to pick up dirty clothes or trash, then work your way down from there. It’s too much processing and they WILL lose track somewhere about 5 minutes after you send them on their way to do it. Is it long and drawn out, yes but will it save a fight or trouble in the end and get it done? More than likely. So make for peace and just take it one step at time.
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